Personal Finance Defined

We all love the idea of self-care, but seriously — who has the time? A younger, hungrier, success-at-any-cost version of me would be nodding my head reading that statement. The more established, experienced, post-pandemic version of me who sits here today knows that’s just an excuse.

Stress and busyness

We’re culturally indoctrinated to accept chronic stress as a part of our life cycle. During that pivotal phase of life from 20-50 years of age, we juggle college exams, the pressure to land a good-paying job, moving up the ladder, balancing career ambitions against the biological clock, starting a business, being a good leader, parent, partner and friend.

All of these pressure triggers are a natural part of life, right? Well, I can agree that they are a natural part of life, but these events don’t have to feel so stressful. They only feel that way because the foundation holding it all up isn’t as solid as it could — and should — be. Constructing and reinforcing that foundation can happen at any time, but the best time is right now.

Our business-first culture glorifies the external face of success while often disregarding the sacrifices it took to get there. The body that carries us, and the constantly revolving mind that fuels our great ideas, they require respite. The problem is that we don’t believe we can afford to pause with purpose and still be successful. That’s because we don’t know where to look for good examples.

Related: How Learning to Take Care of Myself Helps Me Take Care of My Business

The hunt for a self-care role model

In my work, I’ve had the pleasure of interviewing several women who are doing self-care right. Recently I spoke with Erica Diamond, a practiced professional who has helped countless women, including Arianna Huffington, prioritize their own well-being, first. Diamond practices yoga and meditation to calm her central nervous system. I spoke to Karena Dawn, an entrepreneur who built a fitness empire by encouraging women to work through generational trauma through movement. These are just a few of the women who are showing us a better way to function in a world where overwhelm is normalized.

Unlearning bad habits

Before adopting the self-care practices we see others emulating around us, there’s a deeper job to do. We have to unlearn the bad habits we’ve collected over a lifetime. This can especially be true for women, having learned from our mothers that taking care of others comes first.

If you could time travel and ask a housewife in the 1950s what her self-care routine was, she’d likely tell you, “It’s called Mother’s Day.” Incidentally, Anna Jarvis’ campaign to recognize Mother’s Day in the U.S. was funded by a department store owner. The business sector co-opted the holiday, and Jarvis spent the rest of her life railing against its commercialization.

The moral of the story is that when a holiday that was created to show appreciation for the most selfless people in our lives gets exploited as a business opportunity, then our cultural priorities deserve a second look. It’s time to take back taking care of ourselves.

Related: Self-Care Isn’t Selfish — It’s Essential for Sustaining High Performance. Here’s How to Avoid Burning Out.

3 self-care tips to avoid overwhelm

Overwhelm is typically the entry point into a self-care journey. It’s the chronic fatigue, the inability to shut down, snapping at people for no reason. If you run a business then you know what it feels like. The good news is that you can incorporate practices that will bolster your ability to move through potential stressors with more grace, and with practice, avoid overwhelm altogether.

Stop making excuses: If you’re experiencing overwhelm, don’t wait to address it. This can lead to more serious problems down the road. Face it now and take one small action to address it.
Practice mindfulness: This is a fancy way of saying “be present.” Meditation has been scientifically proven to reduce stress levels, and it’s a common practice among burnout recoverees. Journaling is another great way to center yourself, and it’s helped me tremendously over the years.
Move more: Yoga, stretching, swimming, jogging and walking in nature are all effective ways of releasing pent-up overwhelm healthily. Studies show that once you get into a routine with movement, you’ll be better able to manage stressful events without succumbing to overwhelm.

From self-care shame to shameless self-care

The voices promoting our need for self-care have never been louder, and that’s a good thing. However, it also means that self-care has become a double-edged sword. We’re almost being shamed into it.

If you’re an entrepreneur and you’ve been interviewed, no doubt the “What’s your self-care routine?” question has been raised. Knowing what it takes to run a business, balance relationships and do and be all the things, it wouldn’t surprise me if half of us weren’t lying through our teeth about our self-care habits.

We have to really step back and look at how we plan our day. Time is currency, and being busy doesn’t mean we’re important or even doing important things. When we see the signs of burnout, start a conversation. We need to do a better job of supporting balanced lifestyles among our professional peers.

Related: 5 Self-Care Habits of Every Successful Entrepreneur

Find what works for you

There are a billion methods, books, podcasts and workshops designed to help you adopt a self-care practice. The problem is that we’re all individuals, so there’s no perfect formula for the masses. Finding what works for you starts with unlearning the behaviors that don’t consider your well-being and reversing the cycle. Then, you just have to try on different self-care hats and see what fits.

If something works for a while, know that it might not work the same way in three years. Pivot, but don’t give up. Self-care isn’t a cookie-cutter thing. One size does not fit all. It’s personal, and it’s an ever-evolving, ever-integrative process. Start with what’s doable for you now. A solid self-care foundation that will help you live and work more sustainably starts with one achievable step at a time.

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