Charlamagne Tha God on Why Small Talk Sucks and Living Authentically: Insights from His New Book

How do you make small talk with a guy who hates small talk?

That question ran through my mind as I was about to exit the restroom at the IAB Podcast Upfronts, a marketplace designed for brands, agencies, and media buyers to preview the latest and greatest in podcasts today.

Charlamagne Tha God walked in as I was exiting the restroom. Before I go any further, it was a very large restroom, which will make sense momentarily.

If you’re not familiar, Charlamagne Tha God is a popular radio and TV personality, author, and co-host of the nationally syndicated radio show “The Breakfast Club.” Known for his candid and often controversial interviews, he has become a significant figure in contemporary media.

I’m a fan of his and wanted to interview him for my podcast (Reclaim + Advance), so I had to stall. I started tinkering with the various restroom amenities, searched through the Advil a few times, then used some mouthwash I (hopefully) didn’t need.

Once he finished up, I quickly said, “Apologies for being awkward, but I’m a fan and a journalist at Entrepreneur magazine. Any chance I could interview you about your latest book?”

I should note, his new book is titled Get Honest or Die Lying: Why Small Talk Sucks. So, making small talk with him in a restroom was a bit intimidating.

Fortunately, he was super cool about it. He gave me his team’s info and even chatted with me for a bit. Looking back, I know small talk would have been flaky and time-consuming. But being deliberate and to the point got me a yes.

I’ll share what I learned from our conversation and his new book.

Related: How Dorie Clark Went from Heartbreak to Writing a Bestseller

The Importance of Authenticity and Self-Honesty

I’ve been posting on social media for years. I did my best to come across as likable, helpful, and did my best to avoid making people feel uncomfortable. Unfortunately, that meant I had to hide a lot of what was going on behind the scenes. This includes the death of my son, battling obesity, and finally ending my addiction to alcohol.

Sure, I had a bunch of followers, but it felt empty because they didn’t actually know the real me. In his book, Charlamagne emphasizes the significance of being true to oneself and the dangers of self-deception and societal lies.

He expanded on this during our conversation: “Stop lying to yourself and stop volunteering those lies to other people… we’re literally in an era of people just volunteering lies.”

Instead of volunteering lies, Charlamagne encourages people to own their story, flaws and all. He shares more details: “It’s the Eminem in 8 Mile theory. Live your truth, so nobody can use your truth against you.”

Living my truth, including getting fired from corporate, has unlocked countless opportunities. To my surprise, admitting my flaws made me more relatable and marketable.

The Value of Nature and Grounding for Mental Health

This is just an observation, but I feel many people don’t feel comfortable expressing an unfiltered version of themselves because they don’t even know themselves.

Think about it. When’s the last time you went for a walk without your headphones on, or spent time in a park just to process your thoughts? It’s in those moments of stillness and self-reflection that we get an opportunity to evaluate ourselves and how we want to show up in the world.

During our conversation, Charlamagne talked about the benefits of reconnecting with nature to alleviate stress, anxiety, and depression. “There’s a lot of different things that you can do to get reconnected with nature, but you just need people to tell you.” He continues, “If I tell you, walking around barefoot in the grass will help, relieve your stress levels, will help your anxiety come down, will help when you’re dealing with these bouts of depression. You may not believe me.”

Not to say that I didn’t believe him, but I had a healthy amount of skepticism until I actually tried it. Based on Charlamagne’s recommendation, I spent a few hours at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden. No headphones, no screen time, just experiencing nature. And yes, I took my shoes off. As Charlamagne mentioned, walking barefoot on grass, also known as grounding or earthing, offers numerous physical and mental health benefits.

In addition to those he referenced, I also felt incredibly refreshed and creative.

Related: Screen Time and Mental Health: How to Protect Your Children

The Role of Social Media and the Need for Digital Minimalism

Charlamagne and I both have children, so the conversation naturally led to the impact social media can have on kids.

He discussed how social media can distort reality and the necessity of managing its impact. When asked how he’s doing so for his daughter, he said, “There’s books that I’ve given her to read, like Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport, because I want her to know the impact that social media is having on a young, impressionable mind.”

And in addition to this guidance, he also provides guardrails. “You gotta put rules and regulations. You gotta put limits on what kids are consuming and how much of it they consume.”

I’d say this applies to adults as well. There are teams of data scientists whose main goal is to keep your eyes glued to the screen, no matter how it impacts your focus or mental health.

And I know it can be challenging to avoid overconsumption of media, especially with so much going on in the world. But here’s something to keep in mind: You have a moral and civic duty to be aware of what’s going on in the world around you, but you don’t have to be on duty 24/7.

What’s next?

If you’re ready to learn from Charlamagne Tha God, check out his latest book Get Honest or Die Lying: Why Small Talk Sucks. You can also follow him on Instagram and visit his website to stay up to date.

Have any questions or suggestions? Reach out to me on LinkedIn or Instagram.